By Gibson Fay-LeBlanc
I don’t know how my brother forgave
the doctor who missed the melanoma
on his scalp and tried to freeze it off
before it came back and was everywhere.
Or how he let his body be cut, radiated,
sequenced, lasered, scanned, poisoned
for eight years. My body still aches
that his is not here, not anywhere.
This week, two men, George and Antwan,
were shot by police, one for sleeping
in his car, another for holding an air
rifle, each someone’s brother.
This four-hundred-year-old cancer
with cells that divide, replicate, spread
and grew from men’s greed into
ideas about bodies’ pigments,
the same melanocytes that ran amok
inside my brother. We shoot first
and ask questions later, my father
posted on the sign at his gate.
My pink skin easily burns. My luck
wraps around the world like a god’s arms.
I have this one hidden place where
my brother and mother were. There are
fields, endless, American, full of holes
that each lead to an underground network
of caves filled with eyelashes, a crooked lip,
a certain chuckle, an eye’s particular brown.
Am I also just waving a flag on which
I’ve painted, I’m one of the good ones?
Let’s agree to no more signs or flags or statues
except those with the names of people we
should not have lost. Person on the low end
of the melanin-spectrum, I’m talking just to you
right now. You, Dad. The week by his bedside
you barely slept. We have to check our skin
and square our pain with wildflower-cratered
hollows and fields in every direction
if you look. My brother’s gone from cancer—
not a nightstick sixteen generations long.
GIBSON FAY-LEBLANC’s first collection of poems, Death of a Ventriloquist, won the Vassar Miller Prize and was featured by Poets & Writers, and his second, Deke Dangle Dive, was published by CavanKerry Press in 2021. His poems have appeared in magazines including the New Republic, Tin House, Narrative Magazine, Poetry Northwest, and Orion. He has helped lead community arts organizations including The Telling Room, SPACE Gallery, and Hewnoaks, and currently serves as Executive Director of the Maine Writers & Publishers Alliance.
This poem originally appeared in Stonecoast Review Issue 22.
Photo by Jens Lelie